You want to know what this is about?
Fates! Why is it that you humans need every little thing spelled out for you? What does the title say, mate? It says Man and Ball. In breaking it down into it's two elements, it seems fairly clear.
It does not say 'A man', ergo it isn't about anyone in particular. No, it says Man, which tends to mean the species in general, doesn't it? Nor does it say Balls. We can guess, then, that it isn't about testicles or snooker. Nor is swimming mentioned, so water polo is out.
In fact, there's a little drawing, front and centre of Issue One, of a fellow standing with one foot on what the eagle-eyed would describe as an orb similar in size to a regulation number 5 Jabulani. Therefore any being whose sense of higher reasoning isn't collecting dust on the shelf would suss out in a heartbeat that this to-do wishes to discuss man's relationship with the game of football.
Or, if they needed a further clue, they could read the little blurb on the 'News' page, wherein the current issue is described. Simple, this deductive reasoning, innit?
Now, if you're still too frightened to open one of the pages labeled Contributors, Features or Reviews, and explore for yourself, I suppose I'll have to take you by the hand and get you safely across the street.
What you've got here is a bunch of fellows who have mostly spent too much time getting an education and not enough in realising that the business world doesn't want to hire them. But, seeing as they've got a bit of the gray matter still functioning, unlike some people I could mention, they've decided to make their own way. Now, just like you, they like football and, just like you, they like to talk about it. Only they've decided that rather than settling for being rubbish collectors to make a living, they'd prefer to distribute the stuff.
-- What? What's it already? Stop hissing and pulling on my sleeve, will you? Can't you see I'm busy? -- Well, it was you lot asked me to -- Oh, sorry. Yes, I see your point. No, no, I'll fix it --
They've taken exception to my calling their work rubbish. Makes them think you won't want to buy it. Well, truth be told, it isn't really rubbish. I'm just a bit worked up. Had a lot on my plate recently. It's actually a bit of alright, this rag in digital form, raising some good points about the state of the game whilst keeping you entertained. Plus, they make me look pretty good.
Who am I? Gods! You are a bit thick, aren't you? I'm the bleedin' fella who started the whole thing! Look mate, the first issue is free, and £1.95 for Issue Two onwards isn't going to leave you in the dark with no heat now, is it? Take a risk and click the DOWNLOAD > button...
